Saturday, July 5, 2008

I was about to come out to a family member but...

I'm so frustrated! I've been considering calling one of my cousins for advice for quite a while now. She is a lesbian, out and has a 11 year old daughter and as far as I know is totally accepted by the whole family. So she is the perfect person for me to talk to. However until recently I've been hesitant to tell anyone in the family just in case everyone found out before I was ready. My cousin's mum and my mum are sisters - and very close - so if my Aunt found out - my mum would find out from her.

However I've realised that it is extremely unlikely my cousin would tell anyone if I asked her not to - after all she has been where I am now. (Well kind of, she was never married with kids - but she did come out to the same family I'll have to come out to).

So I plucked up the courage and was about to email her to ask her to meet for lunch when I remembered - she is overseas for a month!!!!!

So I have to wait a few more weeks to share this with her. 

It's weird... I'm not currently in a relationship, I'm not interested in anyone right now... so there shouldn't be any overwhelming reason for me to come out yet. I was planning on waiting till I'd met someone I wanted to introduce to the family. However as time goes on I feel the need more and more to come out. 

From the conversations I've had with my daughter I'm almost certain she would have no problem with it whatsoever, I've even touched upon the subject of people who aren't so accepting and how she should respond to them. So the groundwork is in place to make it easier on her.

I want to come out and I just don't know why it seems more and more urgent! All I know for now is that I want to talk to my cousin and she's not here! :-(

God I sound like a petulant child! I'm going to bed before I sink any further and stomp my foot!

1 comment:

Sh@ney said...

To put it simply, perhaps it is the right time in your life.
I am sure your cousin would be very supportive, she knows how difficult it is for someone to 'come out' She may even be able to offer advice or be there for support. Talking to someone who has had the same experience would definately be of some value.

Courage Girlfriend *winks*