Tuesday, July 15, 2008

I Just Came Out to my Lawyer!

It's so weird. I actually feel more weird about it than when I told the 5 of my friends that know now.

In fact those 5 friends were so cool about it, I didn't feel sick after telling them at all - just relief and happiness that I can have a conversation about future plans without having to be careful of what I am saying.

But I can tell with a few people, I'll still feel worried after telling them - the kind of worried where your stomach churns and you feel sick till you can get it out of your mind.

I feel like that about my lawyer. I have no idea why though. We are right in the middle of what may turn out to be a not so nice separation anymore. Especially as my ex didn't pay his half of the mortgage yesterday. My parents can scrape up enough to help me this week - but can't after that - they just can't afford it. So as you can see it's not going to be pretty.

I've been totally stressing out that as it gets ugly, that when I do come out - my ex (who does have a gay couple as friends), might freak out go all homophobic and threaten to take the kids for more than he has now. 

If my kids asked themselves to spend more time with dad - I'd let them... but he is a crap full time dad and definitely shouldn't have them if his only reason is to hurt me, or take them away from me for  ridiculous reasons. He is good to them in small doses - but if he had them for longer and for reasons other than he WANTED to spend more time with them - the kids would suffer for it. 

So I asked my lawyer about it today. She told me not to worry about it. She said any Judge gets very annoyed with ex's that  try to do this so long after the separation. I asked if it would make any difference when he wasn't aware of the fact I am a lesbian for all that time. She said it still wouldn't make a difference and that he'd have to prove that I was a bad mother during that time. And a Judge would still be annoyed at him using that reason to take the kids for more time.

So that's a huge relief as I have been really worried about that. I suppose if it came to the worst and I had to prove that I was a good mother - I have many people who could write on my behalf that I am a good mum.

Anyway gotta go, call the lawyer back as we really don't want this to go to court if we can avoid it!

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