Sunday, August 17, 2008

Question: How to meet cousin without coming out over the phone?

My cousin is back from overseas. Since she is a lesbian with a 11 year old daughter I thought she could probably give me a lot of advice. Especially on how to come out to the family and how they reacted at the time. I know she came out when I was still in high school, but being at boarding school and a self involved teenager I wasn't really paying that much attention. 

Having a complete belief that stealing my brother's playboys was completely normal for a heterosexual girl probably didn't help towards me focusing too closely on her coming out either!

My problem? I don't see her that often, and when I do organise to catch up it always ends up as a luncheon including my sister, her daughter, my mum, aunt, my cousin's partner and her daughter!

I need to talk to my cousin without anyone else around, but I have no idea how to ask this of her without going into the reason on the phone. I mean what on earth is she supposed to think if I say I need to talk to only her about something. It's not like we've connected on other particular topics in the past.

She is a teacher, so I guess I could go in on that angle, but her partner is a teacher also, and I don't know her well enough to go into it with her too.

It will be especially obvious when I ask her not to mention us meeting to anyone in the family. I mean if I was going to meet her for advice about school years for my kids - I wouldn't be keeping that a secret from my mum.

I just don't want to come out over the phone. It would start a whole conversation that I'd rather have face to face.

I'd really like to talk to her soon, so any advice would be wonderful!!!


Kelly & Sam Pilgrim-Byrne said...

I would simply say, "I need to speak to you about something important - not terrible - but important, by yourself. I don't want to go into it over the phone, so do you think we could meet up soon?"

StephLove said...

How about, we've never really had a chance to talk one on one. Would you like to get together for coffee sometime soon? She might guess you have an ulterior motive, but that's okay. If you keep it casual she'll probably be more curious than freaked out.

Queers United said...

Just tell her you would like to meet with her and catch up. Tell her you have a lot to talk about.

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